Trigger Happy's Guide to Random Stuff in Life
by mpuppy4
Summary: Join everyone's favorite fantabulous gremlin gunslinger as he shows the young Portal Masters his ways of life. He makes people laugh, he makes people cry, he snickers maniacally while shooting things with gold coins. The big question is whether or not the other Skylanders will still like him when this story is over! (Feel free to suggest chapter topics!)
1. Waking Somebody Up

((_**HEYO!**_I was working on the final chapter of "Skylanders Short Stories: Blank Out!" and I started getting bored, so I took a moment to quickly write something about my (second) favorite Skylander! Please enjoy!))

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**Trigger Happy's Guide to Waking Somebody Up**

"Yo, Trigg!" Spyro called. He bounded over to his gremlin friend and catching his attention. "Have you seen Stealth Elf?"

"Nope-a-dope," Trigger Happy cheerfully replied. "Why?"

Spyro sighed. "She's _supposed _to help me with something today, but she's not anywhere! I looked all over the citadel."

Trigger Happy tilted his head, then grinned. He shot the ceiling twice and exclaimed, "I'll help ya look for her, Spyro!"

"Really?" the dragon asked. "Gee, thanks! I could use the help! I swear, it's like she's not even on the island."

"I can look around outside for ya," Trigg suggested with his usual sunny tone. "Maybe you can take a break! Ya look kinda tired."

Spyro nodded. "Yeah, I was up all night looking for her. Thanks, Trigg. I'm gonna go take a nap. Do me a favor, and tell me if you find her?"

"Yep-a-roo!" Trigg waved goodbye as his friend walked away to his room. The gremlin laughed and dashed over to a terrace. He climbed on top of the railing and shouted **"Geronimo!" **when he jumped off. He fell about three stories, then was saved by a bounce pad. "Weeeeeeee! He he! Bounce bounce!" He landed on his face, then stood up and started laughing like a maniac. Which is normal for him. "He he! Again!" He looked back at the terrace and shrugged. "Later. Again later."

He dashed past the Core of Light, thinking of places that Stealth Elf would be. "Doo da doo, gotta find Stealthy. Dat doo da, make Spyro happy."

"Trigger Happy?" Trigg skidded to a halt in front of Camo. "Hey, uh, what are you doing?"

"Um, ah, I'm looking for Stealth Elf!" Trigg replied. "Ya seen her? Huh?"

Camo scratched his head. "Eh. Not since yesterday," the Life dragon replied. "But, I do happen to know that there's a secret spot near the beach that she likes to spend time in..."

"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!" Trigg was jumping up and down. "Tell meeee! Tell Trigger Happyyyyyyy!"

Camo sighed. "C'mon. You can't tell anybody."

"Ooh." Trigg pretended to zip his mouth closed. My lips are sealed!" Camo paused, considering whether or not he should spill. "Oh, c'mon! Pleeeeeeease?" Trigg pleaded. "I need to find her! She's supposed to be helping Spyro with a thing!"

Camo considered this, then nodded. "Alright, alright," he said. "There's an old robot on the beach that will open a secret door if you oil it."

Trigg tilted his head. "Oil...?" he questioned. "Where in the whoozie-whatsis am I gonna get oil?"

"From Drobot!" Camo explained. "That's where Stealth got it."

"Oh, Drobot!" Trigg exclaimed. "That guy'll give you anything if you bother him a bunch!"

"Mm-hm," Camo agreed.

"But, hey, how do you know about this?" the gremlin asked.

Camo chuckled. "She showed me!" he responded. "It's like a secret base in there. She keeps a flippin' futon in there. She likes her privacy."

"Yep!" Trigg said, then headed for Drobot's workshop. "Thanks for the info dump, Camo!"

"Any time!"

"He he he! Oh Droooooboooooot!" Trigg called. He ran head first into the workshop door. "Ow..."

The door opened and Drobot stuck his head out. "What do you want, Trigger Happy?" the mechanic asked.

"Hi to you too..." Trigg grumbled, standing up and rubbing his head. "I need to borrow some oil. Got any? Huh?"

Drobot growled. "Why in the name of Master Eon do you need oil?"

Trigger Happy shrugged. "It's classified."

Drobot glared at him for a moment, then blatantly replied, "No," and went back inside, slamming the door.

"Oh, c'mon!" Trigg pounded on the door. "I neeeeeeed it! Please please please please please-" The door flung back open and knocked him backwards. "-ow."

Drobot stuck an oil can in his face. "Bring it back when you're done."

Trigg looked at it, then snatched it. "Woo hoo! Thanks Drobot!"

"Just don't bother me again." He went back inside and slammed the door shut again.

Trigg stormed to the stairway down to the docks and slid down the railing, lighting the torches on an orange fire. "He he he! Weeeee!" He landed on his feet this time, then dashed towards the beach, passing Gill Grunt and Zap. "Old robot, Camo said... Ah _HA!" _He eventually did come across a rusty old robot with oil dripping from it's arm. The gremlin poured some oil on it and yelped when it moved. The cliff face opened up like a door, welcoming Trigg inside. What he found inside appeared to be a Secret Base from Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire. "Well, what do you know- there _is _a futon!"

Stealth Elf was in there, alright. Asleep. "Maybe she was awake all night too." Trigg picked a stick off of the ground and poked her. "Heya, Stealthy, wakey wakey eggs n' bakey."

Stealth grumbled and waved her hand. "Mmph. Wake me up when April rolls around."

"It's June!" Trigg exclaimed.

"That's my point."

Trigg grumbled. "Stealth, you're impossible!" he roared.

"Don't call me Stealthy," Stealth Elf yawned. "Now go away."

Trigg growled, picked back up the oil can and walked away. The door closed behind him and he looked back. "Hm." He shrugged, then walked back towards the docks. He stopped next to Gill Grunt and Zap, who were talking about the ocean. "Heeeeey Giiiiiiiill..." Trigg said with a smirk. The Water elementals glanced back at him.

"Oh, hi Trigger Happy," Gill Grunt said. "What's up?"

"Nothin'," Trigg replied. "Hold this." He pushed the oil can into Zap's hands. "Can I borrow your water gun thingumabob?"

Gill raised an eyebrow and pulled out his harpoon. "You mean this?" he asked. "It's out of harpoons. I need to restock."

"Don't matter!" Trigg exclaimed, swindling the blaster. "Just need the water."

"Well, you'll need this, too." Gill Grunt pulled off his water pack and handed it to Trigg. "You can refill it in the water."

"Ya, I figured." Trigg pulled the pack onto his back. "Thanks Gill! I'll give it back when I'm done with it!" He took the oil back from Zap and headed back to the beach.

"Oh. Uh. Okay!" Gill called back.

Trigg oiled the robot again and the door opened up again. He approached Stealth Elf again. "Alright, I'm gonna give ya one more chance, Stealthy," he said. "Get up!"

Stealth groaned. "I thought I told you to go away. And stop calling me 'Stealthy!'"

Trigg shrugged. "Suit yourself!" He held up the water cannon. "I was hoping you would say no!" He pulled the trigger and blasted her with water, laughing maniacally.

Stealth sprung up. "Alright! Cut it out!" She roundhouse kicked the gremlin in the groin and roared, "What's the big idea?!"

Trigg grumbled and shook himself off. "You're supposed to help Spyro with a thing today..."

"And that's an excuse to _blast me with water?!"_

Trigg shrugged with a goofy grin on his face. "Maybe..."

Stealth growled. "Ooh, you're gonna get it..."

"Meap," Trigg yelped, and he started charging in the direction of the Citadel.

"Get back here you orange rodent!"

Stealth chased him through the gates of the Citadel, up three flights of stairs and into Spyro's room (which he shared with Sunburn and Bash). Trigg slammed the door in her face, then opened it back up with a playful laugh. "Sorry about that," he chuckled. "but Spyro needs your help with... uh... whatever he needs your help with!"

With a sigh, Stealth started wringing out her hair. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that..." she said. "Thanks. But next time, figure out a different way to wake me up, kay?"

Trigg nodded. "Yeah, yeah. It was pretty funny, though. :3"

"Whatever."

They were interrupted by loud snoring. They turned to find that Spyro was curled up in his bed, which was more like a nest made of blankets than anything. He was totally conked out. Trigg started bouncing up and down and he looked at Stealth excitedly. She laughed. "Equal treatment," she said. "Go for it."

Trigg grinned and fired up the water pulse again, blasting Spyro full force.

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((Ta-da! So this story's a thing now. This was my only idea, so if you want more, you'll have to leave suggestions in the reviews!))


	2. First Impressions

((Hi!))

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**Trigger Happy's Guide to First Impressions**

Trigger Happy was running laps for no apparent reason. He was probably just doing it for the sake of doing it. He is hyperactive, after all. Pop Fizz and Roller Brawl were watching him do this. "What is he doing?" Fizz questioned.

"I don't know, but it's hilarious!" Roll laughed. "I bet he'll race me if I challenge him!"

Pop Fizz rolled his eyes. "I bet he won't. You literally have wheels for feet. Everybody knows that Drobot is the only one who could beat you in a race."

"What?!" Roller Brawl exclaimed. "Nobody can beat me!"

"Right..."

Roll skated in front of Trigg and he skidded to a halt. "Oh, hi Roller Brawl!" He sounded pumped.

"Aren't you tired?" Fizz questioned.

"Nope!" Trigg replied.

"Good!" Roll said. "Whatdaya say, wanna race around the island?"

Trigg hopped up and down excitedly. "Ooh, that sounds like fun!" he replied. "Let's do it! Let's do it to it!"

Roll grinned. "Awesome! How about we start here and end in this exact same spot?"

Before Trigg could respond super excitedly, Voodood and Stealth Elf bounded over to them. "Sorry guys, that race will have to wait," Voodood told them.

"Awwwwww, why?" Trigger complained.

"Because there's a new recruit!" Stealth said.

That caused some surprise and excitement among the three characters. "A new Skylander?" Pop Fizz asked.

"That's awesome!" Roll exclaimed. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Boy," Stealth responded.

"What's he like?" Pop Fizz asked.

Voodood and Stealth exchanged glances. "Uh... I don't know," the Orc replied. "I mean, he's a dragon. That's all I know." Everybody's attention turned to Stealth Elf.

"Wait, eeeeehhhhh?" Stealth sounded flustered. "Stop looking at me! I don't know anything either!"

"Oh boy, I can't wait to meet him!" Trigger Happy cried. "I bet he's gonna be really really cool!"

Roller Brawl snickered. "He's definitely not gonna be as cool as Freeze Blade..."

"Would you give it a rest?" Pop Fizz sighed. "The SWAP Force lives halfway across Skylands!" Roll stuck her tongue out at the alchemist.

Trigg leaped over to Stealth Elf. "So when do we get to meet him?" the psycho gremlin asked.

Stealth looked down at her watch (which Drobot made for her since she was terrible at keeping track of time). "Probably in a couple minutes."

Then somebody called, **"Attention Skylanders!" **They looked up to find that Spyro was standing on top of the citadel with a megaphone. The others started to gather. There were a _lot _of Skylanders. **"I'd like to announce the arrival of a new hero in our ranks! A new Skylander has come to join us!"**

A lot of them started cheering, some of them started talking amongst themselves. While Trigger Happy was cheering the loudest and Stealth Elf was covering his ears, Hot Dog padded up between them. He was pretty big for a dog. "Wow, a new Skylander!" he shouted over the noise.

"It's really exciting!" Trigger Happy took a break from cheering to add that.

"It's not that exciting!" Stealth yelled. "This has been happening a lot lately with Kaos ruining everybody's lives! Spyro's just making a big deal out of this one!"

**"Okay everyone, that's enough!" **Spyro called. They didn't stop. **"Seriously, that's enough!" **They still didn't stop. **"QUIT IT!" **That one shut them up. **"Now, introducing, the newest Skylander of the **_**Air**_** Element... BLADES!"**

In a super dramatic moment, a blue dragon stormed down from the sky in a gust of wind, and perched himself next to Spyro. The Skylanders applauded again as the new hero took a bow. Trigger Happy's tongue lolled out as he stared up at the handsome hero. "Blades..."

Blades poked Spyro and asked for the megaphone. He tried to turn it on, and it made a loud screech. The crowd covered their ears, most notably Hot Dog, who also whined in pain. "Agh, my ears are on fire!"

"You're always on fire!" Stealth patted him on the head.

Blades finally figured out how to work the amplifier, and then said, **"Woah, sorry about that! They don't have this kind of stuff where I come from." **Some of the Skylanders laughed at this. **"Hey, well, it's a real honor to join you guys! Seriously, just forget about the big entrance. I just want to be like everybody else." **He tried to give the mic back to Spyro, which led to some clumsy fumbling. Once Spyro was _actually _holding it, Blades flew off the citadel to join his new friends.

Trigger Happy grabbed Stealth arms and, without looking at her, shook the elf vigorously. "Aaah! He's the awesomest awesome guy I've ever seen!" he cried. "I want him to be my bestest best friend!"

"Sto-o-o-p sha-a-aki-i-i-ing me-e-e!" Stealth grabbed his arm and flipped him onto his back. Hot Dog blinked.

"Ow." Trigg stood back up, then fell down to his knees. "Pleeeeease, Stealthy!" he pleaded. "Teach me how to make friends!"

Stealth Elf and Hot Dog exchanged glances. "Okay, first of all, stop calling me 'Stealthy!' Second of all, you know that I'm one of the _worst _people to ask on friendship advice, right?"

"You, me, and Camo are like, her only friends," Hot Dog said. Stealth glared at him.

Trigg whimpered like a puppy. "B-But... I want him to be my bestest best friend..." He

Stealth sighed. "Alright, alright... I guess the best advice I could give you is... be yourself. Go up to him and be the little psychopath you are."

"That's the best way to make friends!" Hot Dog told him. "Don't be somebody who you aren't."

Trigg got to his feet and nodded. "Right. Be myself." He grinned. "Be... **Trigger Happy!**"

He ran off, happily shouting and totally confident in himself. "Wanna bet he'll get burned?" Hot Dog snickered.

"To a crisp," Stealth agreed.

Blades waved goodbye as the Skylanders he had just been talking to walked away. Then Trigger Happy stormed up to him. **"Hiya Blades!"**

"Woah!" Blades leaped a mile in the air. "I did _not _see that coming! Literally!"

Trigg shook his hand even more vigorously than he had with Stealth Elf. "I'm Trigger Happy! T-R-I-G-G-E-R-H-A-P-P-Y! But my best pals call me Trigg!"

"Ah, the party animal himself!" The new hero flashed a toothy smile. "Spyro told me all about you. It's nice to meet you in person!Do you really shoot everything you see?"

Trigg laughed and pulled out him machine gun. "He he! Does this answer your question?"

"Wow!" Blades examined the turret. "That's really cool! How does it work?"

Trigg blinked. "Uh... beats me! I just shoot first and ask questions later!"

Blades laughed. "That's awesome! Hey, does that Drobot guy I've heard about build you stuff?"

"Some of it," Trigg replied. "but the good stuff is all me! Aaaaaalllllll Trigger Happy!"

Hot Dog and Stealth Elf watched them talk. "Hey, he didn't go up in flames!" the magma mutt laughed.

"Can't say I'm surprised..." Stealth said. "How can you not like Trigger Happy?"

"Hey, they're coming over here!" Hot Dog said.

"Guys! Guys! Guys!" Trigger exclaimed. "I made a friend!"

Blades looked down at Hot Dog. "Hey, this dog is on fire!"

Hot Dog chuckled. "Yeah, that's why they call me 'Hot Dog...'"

"And, a ninja..." Blades bowed formally. "Stealth Elf, I presume?"

Stealth blinked. "You... know Japanese culture?"

"Sure do," Blades replied. "I studied a bit of ninjitsu myself."

The elf bowed in returned, then looked up at Trigg. "Nice catch."

Trigg grinned. "He he!"

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((Yeah, if I'm writing this story, it means I have writer's block on whatever I'm currently writing. Which, unfortunately, is currently Skylanders Short Stories.))


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